This 'inspirational quote' has so much meaning to me mainly because he actually wrote these words to me. The funny part is - he doesn't know he's my ultimate most favorite artist, so talking with him even foe a brief minute was a huge deal to me. As we all know (anyone who has been reading this blog) I've been in a season of draught and it is driving me up the f-ing wall crazy - being nice and attempting to not cuss on this. So what have I been doing to fix this rut? I have been learning Swedish, writing more, working out, dancing (as well remember, not so well), and I finally got up enough courage and decided it was time to finally ask my favorite artist a question and see if it was even worth asking or if he would even respond...Ladies and Gents.....he did! So back tracking real quick, I don't think I've gotten into the fact that I picked up painting and have been painting for and commissions for about 7 years now. I don't paint very well but it kept my sanity in tact for the time being....Enter in sad violin..then one day all the shit hit the fan (sorry yes cussing). I mean I lost almost everything within one night and was sleeping on couches and hotels etc. the whole nine yards. With that you'd think 'hey tragedy! here's all the inspiration you need' FALSE!!! I completely shut down all creativity I had and with that even when I have picked up a brush to singing everything is just so...blocked... So going back to current state - I DM my favorite artist on IG and he responds! I asked him about hitting a creative wall - if he has this and how does he handle this. It was a huge relief to know I am not the only one and we genuinely had a great talk about this block. During this time I mentioned how I used to paint this way and certain things would flow..
he then responded, "Sounds like you want things the way they used to be but maybe remembering that had some not so fluid days back then as well."
I was floored because I really had been looking at life and painting on 'oh the good ole days' when forgetting the 'good ole days' used to be just as hard sometimes, we just see them in rose colored glasses now. We talked about Accepting the Difficulty... Acceptance is such reality no one wants to face..no one, I don't care what you say, we all have something we don't want to accept. Not only do I have to deal with acceptance, I have to accept the difficulty. That phrase still gets me 'Accepting the Difficulty", if anyone knows me, I avoid all difficult emotions or thoughts like the plague..believe me..
This draught season so about accepting the thing I have been avoiding and oh the things I have been avoiding, the things I want to keep in their tiny locked boxes and put back in their closet of denial - hah that was a good one.... So here's to opening our boxes and airing them out to make things cleaner and healthy, even it if it genuinely sucks...it'll only get better right?
I hope this finds you well and Erik, if you ever read this thank you for our talk.
Ok so I decided to do this 30 day challenge with a friend of mine regarding photography.
Today - Day 1 - Self Portrait.
I honestly wanted something pretty and no lines and me looking put together but today I felt like being me. Lines and all..All vulnerability I can pass on and share.
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