Enjoying life through adventures, and capturing the passion through a lens.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

cookie cutter mold??

Do you ever feel like you lose yourself? Wondering why you are on this earth or who you really are and what you really like instead of following the same thing the crowd is? I find myself in this situation so many times, changing who I am so I can "fit in." But I guess the real question is why do we try to fit in, when clearly, we are no designed to be exactly alike?

I guess last night, I was sitting for a bit and really pondering why so many times we need to badly to fit in, why do we need to be accepted so much that most times we change ourselves. Why is it so hard for us to just to be accepting of who we are and who other are, why is different so "scary"? This really doesn't feel like it's flowing tonight, I guess I can blame myself for not keeping up on this. It seems this week isn't really an epiphany but more of soul searching. I would love to be who God made me to be and what he has called me to be, but so many times I feel like I am stuck on that paved road instead of exploring the areas surrounding and seeing what God really has in store for us. We want purpose but are so comfortable in the place we are that we lose the potential we have by not even trying. I'm tired of being comfortable and ready to jump into the unknown...I guess the question is..where do you go?

I hope this finds you well and I hope it's legible.

so many photos because I was awesome and got comfortable ;).

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Step back, Take a breath, Dive in?

Hey, I think it's been about 2 weeks, sorry about that. Things were so busy and I kind of forgot that my computer existed including my camera :P. Ev came over for about 10 days and I can honestly say I was so blessed. I have learned to appreciate the days where I can just lay in bed and not have to get up and do anything or even take a shower in the daytime instead of at night after the boys are sleeping. It was really hard though going from "single mom" to not having to do anything and I found myself losing self control and becoming a brat rather than grateful. Ack! I'm losing my train of thought and inspiration on this piece. It's so easy to lose yourself in things that overwhelm you instead of taking a step back, breathing, and diving in. I really need to work on this because I find myself almost willing to dive into anything and deal with consequences later...Most times, it leads to bridges being blown to smithereens and relationships are lost along the way.

Step back, Take a breath, Dive in.......

I never want to be selfish, disrespectful, and ungrateful in anything. I know that it is inevitable and there will sometimes in life where it will happen. After all, we are ALL humans..I don't care what you say, YOU ARE HUMAN and WE ALL WILL SCREW UP. I'm going to lose my patience, I'm going to be ungrateful, and I most likely one day will kill my children (just kidding) I love them way too much and no matter what happens in the day I am so blessed to have them in my life. (as Zion is climbing all over me while I am writing this)

Step Back, Take a breath, Dive in.....

I think this will be my challenge this week and who knows maybe try to push through with it in the rest of my life (there are no guarantees) :) I want to live life, knowing I at least tried to make a difference in my attitude and views of life.
I hope this wasn't insanely chaotic, and I hope this finds you well. This week, I guess I will have to post picture some other time cause blogger won't let me right now..phooey!